Working hard, or hardly working?!

It's already mid February and I've set myself plenty to do this year, so am I actually achieving anything, or was the idea pointless?

Well, importantly, I've visited a few new football grounds and I'm training more than ever before with the aim to improve my climbing. But neither of these are the focus of this blog.

Number 10 on my list was to get a job, and that has been achieved. I am, officially, a supply teaching assistant!! (I know what you are thinking, that really is a rock and roll title!) So what does it all involve?? Well, with it being agency work, it usually involves a lot of getting up early, waiting for the phone to ring and then being disappointed when it doesn't.

When I actually get round to doing some work, it is pretty good fun. I spent some time last week working as a one-to-one teaching assistant with a child with special educational needs. This situation does offer a variety of challenges, some amusing and others not so much.

A great start  to the work I was to do at the school came in the form of an afternoon game of bench ball in the school hall. The little lad I was working with has some problems with his coordination, and it was my job to help out. Now straight away the tie came off. It was serious. The kid in question had decided he would perform the role of catcher, if the ball was thrown to him a point would be scored. It turns out that I'm a little better at catching a bit foam ball than the average 8 year old! I still had fun at least!

The end of the day bought the next realisation that I was indeed living the dream. This was purely and simple that the end of the day came at 3.15. Its a long hard day working in a primary school!

Day two at the school started better than the last. I got there early enough for a mug of tea before school. Always a bonus, and it soon got even better. First up it was reading time and I was asked to help the child I was working with to read aloud. Between the two of us we were reading a book about smugglers. The suggestion was that I would read all the speech throughout the book. About half way through the book a pirate appeared, and this character had plenty to say! I was in my element, there were giggles all round. By the end of the day we were in Art, and I was drawing pictures of mini beasts on a white board. I think some of the kids' art was better than mine! They all told me as much too!

Friday bought then end of a hard(!) week. To start there was a whole school assembly, all 6 classes into the hall, a bit of show and tell, a hymn and a few certificates. Then came a bit of story writing. Writing out a plan of the story "Something Strange at Playtime". Out at playtime, there was something strange. I'd spotted the bouldering wall the school had put up around an outdoor storage room. The kids were very impressed by my ability to get round the whole thing, including the tricky move across the door.

Best bit of the day, or so I though, was afternoon playtime. A game of football for the older children. I, of course, joined in. I gave the team a bit of aerial presence. I managed to keep the tie on for this game, the coat being zipped up in the cold weather gave amble protection. The school shoes weren't as suitable unfortunately. My first touch wasn't as good as I'd hoped, not that the kids noticed.

It did get better after playtime. I was given a gift by one of the kids. He had draw this for me during a bit of free time. As I promised him, it is now up on my fridge!

Now I'm sure that is enough tales of my boring week at work. I can tell that you are all waiting for the joke, and don't worry, it's a belter.

Why did Shaggy go to an underwater disco?

He likes a scuba doo!!

Keep the faith!

Every success starts with the desire to succeed :D

Honestly, I've felt like that last few months have been crap. It started with the romantic notion of being a climbing bum. The idea was to come back from France, sign on the dole, sort out an instructing job to start in the new year, and climb (lots). Due to lack of regular climbing partner, bad weather and an injured shoulder the climbing hasn't gone to plan. The dole pays far too little and actually spends more time trying to find reasons not to pay you than it spends helping you find work you actually have an interest in, are good at, or are experienced in. After all that I am still without a job as well. 

After large doses of self-pity a good friend of mine suggested I wrote myself a list of things to achieve in 2013. At the top of the list, I was told to write "every success starts with the desire to succeed :D" and apparently "The smiley face is a must".

I like this idea, and thus it forms the main body of my blog. This will be the list, set in stone (or save in an accessible digital location for anyone to stumble across), ready to motivate me to a successful and fun-filled 2013. Now, regular readers, don't worry, there will still be a bad joke at the end. Just wait and have a bit of trust that I haven't forgotten the only reason the two of you actually read this!


The length of the list caused me a little bit of a headache. I wanted one of the things on the list to be "complete the list", so I didn't want the list to be too long, as that would leave this as another pointless attempt to get me out of bed. This made me think the best idea would probably be to let the list write itself, it will be as long as it needs to be. In the same way as Earl from the American TV series "My Name is Earl" I intend to keep the list on me, so I can cross things off as I do them, and add them when I think of them, but for now, here is the list, as it begins:

1. Complete this list
2. Climb Flying Buttress Direct (HVS 5b)
3. Climb Archangel (E3 5b)
4. Climb Gorilla Warfare (Font. 7b)
5. Climb Napes Needle via The Wasdale Roof (E3 5c)
6. Climb the Matterhorn
7. Complete "the 92" (visiting all 92 grounds in the English football league system, of which I have currently done 62)
8. Get off the continent of Europe
9. Have visited the 6 microstates of Europe. (I have already been to Monaco and San Marino, so only Andorra, Malta, Lichtenstein and the Vatican to go!)
10. Get a job (simple, but effective)
11. Add something to this list (goals are always coming along after all!)
12. Do the Three Peaks Challenge
13. Read Last Child in the Woods (yes, alright, I know I, of all people, should have read it already!)
14. Get my Level 1 paddlesport coach done
15. Finish my Summer ML
16. Do a sump (in a cave)
17. Not buy a new phone (modern technology and my habit of destroying phones in caves etc should make that a fun challenge!)
18. Talk to the "hot blonde" at the bar (because, hey, miracles can happen!)
19. Get back to playing waterpolo.
20. Enjoy the little things.

That should make a nice start. And for this one I would be more than happy to accept suggestions, so feel free to comment and if I like it I will add it.


So, the joke:

Ugly. It's not looking good, is it?


Keep the faith. 

They are by far the oldest team.

And as promised, here is that blog I've been meaning to write all week.

This week saw the return of the 4th oldest surviving football club competition in the world, The Sheffield and Hallamshire Senior Cup (behind the FA Cup, the Scottish FA Cup, and the East of Scotland Shield). This particular fixture saw a repeat of the 2010 final, in a match between Sheffield F.C. and Hallam F.C.

Now if any of you know a true football fan, you'll know that they are an odd bunch. Each one of them unable to remember to put that load of washing out to dry, but perfectly able to tell you a list of (useless) football stats like; Tottenham Hotspur are the only non league team to have won the FA Cup, Coventry City are the only football league team with an elephant on their badge, and Wolverhampton Wanderers are the only team to have won all four divisions of the football league.

My personal favourite of all the statistics is the Sheffield F.C. (neither Sheffield United, nor the other lot) are the world's first football team, having been formed in 1857. For the first three years the club organised games between it's own members, for example; Married vs Singles, or Professionals vs The Rest.

This, however, changed in 1860 with the formation of Hallam F.C. and with it came the first ever local derby. This first fixture, and indeed many fixtures up until 1877 were played by a set of rules which are now known as "Sheffield Rules". Sheffield Rules have had a major impact on the modern game, with Free Kicks, Corners, Throw ins, Goalkeepers and Forwards all originating in this form of the game.

This early set of rules was practised up until 1877 when one united set of rules was agreed. Before that point both Sheffield Rules and Association Rules had existed, with different competitions being played using different rules.

In 1876 the Sheffield FA set up its on Challenge Cup as a rival for the FA Cup. Many teams for Sheffield and further afield played in this competition and the first final was watched by around eight thousand spectators, nearly twice as many as that years FA Cup. This Challenge Cup has changed names over the years but still exists today as the Sheffield and Hallamshire Senior Cup.

This year's first round match between Sheffield and Hallam was always going to be a big clash. Sheffield, as always, fancied as one of the favourites for promotion from the Evo-stik Northern League Division One South, and Hallam sitting two leagues below, always looking to show up their slightly more famous neighbours. (Hallam, of course, have their own special place in the history of football, playing at The Sandygate which is the oldest football ground in the world).

With just half an hour until kick off the match looked in some doubt. Having come to the ground, with its own pub on site, from Sheffield city centre after buying a Bob Dylan record from a second hand book and record shop, and having picked up a Chinese football fan studying in Sheffield, we all arrived to find whole ground in darkness. It turns out there had been an electrical fault solved by the simple task of turning them off and on again.

On a bitterly cold night, the game did get under way in front of the 228 expectant fans. Sheffield went 1-0 up in the first minute with a goal from Shaq McKenzie. This early goal catching me off guard and putting my OXO at risk of spillage. With much of the early possession, Sheffield looked in control but could only manage a 1-1 score line at half time. At this point some fans went to the pub, and the small dog got his walk around the entire perimeter of the pitch.

The second half was a similar event. A close game, not the best technical football, and some strong challenges. Again Sheffield took a lead and again Hallam equalised. One of the best things about non league football for me is the closeness to the action. You hear exactly what gets said to the linesman, and tell him yourself, often he'll answer you back. This linesman in particular was having none of it when the Hallam manager argued with him about a free kick in the closing minutes. Personally I don't think he had much room for complaint, but insult was added to injury when, from the resulting free kick, Sheffield scored to send them through to the next round.

In the end, Sheffield go through to the next round, I get to listen to Bob Dylan on vinyl, and much fun was had for only £6 per ticket.

My advice; non league football offers a very different experience to bigger clubs. Give it a try.

Don't worry, there is still the joke. (It has been floating around Facebook recently, but its still awful and I like it)

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle


Keep the Faith.

A Summer of Sport. Was it Really up to Much?

This blog started out with the joke. It had to be a good joke to get me to blog again, so its worth waiting for.

Secondly, I have an apology to make to you, and my other reader. A summer galavanting in the south of France and I forget about the pair of you. Fear not, I'm back, and on the dole, so I have a lot of time to make it all up to you!

And now for the hard part of writing the blog after all this time.

Its been a great summer for sport. Hasn't it?! Well let's go through the sports one by one.

Football: The European Championships.

Good points:

• A further reminder that England are not as good as the papers seem to claim.
• A thrilling final, in which Spain gave another masterclass.

Bad points:

• Uefa seem to suggest betting underpants were twice as bad as racism. 
• BBC documentaries claiming all Eastern Europeans are racist.

Cricket: South Africa tour England, and the thrilling climax to the Country Championship Division 2

Good Points

• Any two from three teams could go up with the final game still to play in Division 2 (including Yorks and Derbys)
• Seeing bowlers like Steyn, Morkel, and Kemar Roach in England

Bad Points

• Tim Bresnan missing a potential 2nd Division title to play in an 11 over a side game for England.
• Only 6 Tests, compared to 14 limited overs games. I'm not even calling for more tests (although there should have be a five test series), but stop the daft limited overs cricket and let players actually play for their counties. 

Athletics and The Olympics and Paralympics.

Good Points

• Usain Bolt. Proving you may be the fastest man over 100m, but you still cant resist the Swedish Women's Handball Team. 
• Mo Farah. An asylum seeker from Somali inspiring a generation of children to be active.
• A raised public interest, and appreciation of paralympians, and people with disabilities. (Including the boo-ing of George Osbourne) 

Bad Points

• Royal Mail charging some people with vandalism for painting Post Boxes gold, yet paining others gold themselves.
• Patriotism. 4 weeks of humanity at its best, and most people saw it as a chance to brag about how much better people from the same bit of soil did in comparison to everyone else.

Road Cycling

Good Points

• A deserved winner of the Tour de France, leading to a resurgence in the popularity of sideburns!
• A person appreciation for myself, from one of the Euskaltel-Euskadi team cars near the top of the first climb on stage 2 of the Tour of Britain. (He tooted the horn because I was waving a Basque flag!)

Bad Points

•  Drugs continuing to taint cycling's reputation. Alberto Contador winning the 2012 Vuelta a España after only being suspended for six months on drug related grounds, and of course the Lance Armstrong affair. 
• A win in the Tour de France leading to more popularity for an already arrogant team, and increased publicity of Sky.

Tennis - Not for me!

So, sport. There has been a lot on the box all summer, and we seem to all have enjoyed ourselves. Will it have made any difference to us in the long run? What have we really learned?

I've learned that road cycling is a lot more complex than men in lycra on bikes. I've learned I still don't know much about Judo, but you can win by ippon, whatever that means. And finally I've learned that one of the volleyball team wears a different colour, and they are the defensive player.


And now the much awaited joke:

What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Any one can roast beef.....



Keep the faith.

Thing to do instead of writing a dissertation (all from personal experience!)

Not really the traditional style rant this time. Just a list of things I've done, and you may want to consider, to help me avoid doing any work!

1. Wash a car
2. Read a book about a former German international goalkeeper
3. Organise a book collection
4. Make a cup of tea
5. Go to Tesco (any supermarket will do!)
6. Play Football Manager 2011
7. Organise another book collection
8. Look online for new caving gear that you know you can't afford
9. Go on a two day caving course
10. Write this blog
11. Sort out the paperwork for the job in France you start in a worryingly short amount of time
12. Count how many days you have to do the work
13. Work out how many words you have to do per day to reach that target
14. Go to watch Sheffield United away at Brentford
15. Get back from Brentford and go to a party
16. Plan a last big night out before you go to France
17. Take three trips to the Post Office just to sent off your caving log book
18. Do four loads of washing in the space of a day
19. Clean an entire kitchen
20. Move a TV into your bedroom, and claim "the background noise helps me work"
21. Watch three seasons of How I Met Your Mother in two days
22. Take Cool Running and Zombieland on DVD round to your mates to watch in one evening
23. Make another cup of tea
24. Text your mates (a lot)
25. Go climbing
26. Play Cricket Captain 2005
27. Wash your climbing rope
28. Go up to uni in an attempt to work and end up having many pints of John Smiths and several games of pool
29. Argue with a Puegoet dealer
30. Play Water Polo
31. Learn how to play FIFA 11
32. Play Forza 3
33. Design a bouldering centre
34. Apply for jobs
35. Watch livestreams of FC Sankt Pauli
36. Bet on the Highlanders winning the SuperXV
37. Take the mick out of Laurence
38. Watch SuperXV highlights
39. Go visit my senior lecturer, who is never in
40. Play Pokemon Red on your old Gameboy Color
41. Make even more tea
42. Cook some food
43. Go out and buy Cadbury's Cream Eggs because the advert was on
44. Watch E4 for about four hours a day
45. Check how many people read your blog everyday
46. Buy and read The Independent
47. Read many different blogs, including the BBC's blog on South American football
48. Watch the African Cup of Nations Final
49. Look at studying a Masters at the University of Otago, Dunedin. 
50. Promote your own blog

Happy Procrastination!

Find me on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/KeepItClassicBlog. Like it and inflate my ego some more!

Don't worry, there's still a joke!

There was a motorbike accident outside my house yesterday. I went running out shouting "stand back, let me through!" One women turned and asked "Why? Are you a doctor?" "No." I replied, "but that is my pizza!"

Keep the faith

:)

Channel 4: Insightful Documentaries or Right Wing Propaganda?

During the course of this week Channel 4 has come a little bit of pressure over three different programmes. It all appeared to start with an article in The Independent on Monday explaining the controversy around the ever popular My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (http://www.independent.co.uk/hei-fi/news/big-fat-controversy-over-gypsy-documentary-on-c4-7293992.html?origin=internalSearch). Things didn't get any better for Channel 4 when they aired their "documentary" Proud and Prejudiced. According to left wing groups this gave a boost to right wing extremism (http://uaf.org.uk/2012/02/irresponsible-c4-programme-gives-boost-to-edl/). Because we all know that three's a charm, Channel 4 managed to give an unfair image of the city of Bradford in its show Make Bradford British (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-17211995).

Starting from the top then. The show My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is not a show I watch, at all. As an outsider to the programme it would appear that Channel 4 wastes an hour (or however long it is) of people's lives by showing them wealthy Traveller families spending large amounts of money on, what main stream society would call, unusual things. In my humble opinion that would seem like main stream society thinks that its a good use of an hour to have a good laugh at unusual customs. If someone who has watched the show wants to correct me on that, then feel free, but as committed as I am to writing a good blog, I refuse to watch even one episode of the show in question.

There has to be a moral issue as to whether this kind of show is acceptable, but that is not the main problem I wish to talk about. The problem that spoken about in the article that came out this week, is the negative impact that this show is having on the rest of the Traveller and Gypsy communities. This is the start of the reoccurring theme in Channel 4's shows. This show is appearing not to give the audience a rounded view of the situation and is not informing its viewers that the Traveller and Gypsy communities are some of the most deprived in the country. It is actively leading to some of the small minded British public being prejudiced against communities and, in some cases, acting on these prejudices. This is aiding the lack of understanding of other cultures and the lack of integration into society for some.

Now to a show I have seen. Proud and Prejudiced. When I watched this I was caught in two minds. Having heard what the leader of the EDL had said then you could understand some of what he was saying. There are even things that I found myself agreeing with. This worried me. I fear, as it appears Unite Against Fascism do, that a lot of people will agree with what he says and believe that he is right. The one thing I hate more than right wing extremist is the Islamic extremist that make the fascists look good. I have to agree that in Luton, where this programme was filmed, there are problems with integration. This show by Channel 4 has focused on both sides of this specific problem. What it hasn't done is given balance. It has not show examples of integration in other areas of Britain, and it has given a balanced, left wing, political view of the situation.

Again Channel 4 is helping small minded Brits to form incorrect prejudiced views, and in the case of this show it is given them a way of gaining large scale media interest. Two right wing extreme views is not balance. The show made no attempt to even look at the wider Muslim community and the way many of them integrate into British society. The other problem with this show is that on the multiple occasions that the EDL leader showed his true thug colours, no more said about it. He claimed to impersonate the fascist that murdered 76 people in Norway, he also accused someone he did not know of being incestuous and finally he complained that the police tried to arrest him after he broke the conditions of his bail. These are not appropriate things for a man of political power to be doing. The show made no attempt to further this point.

Finally we come to a show that airs tonight (Thursday). The title Make Bradford British already implies that there is something un-British about the city of Bradford. Not much can be said about this show until it has been shown. The worry is that it will give an unfair portrayal of the city, but there is still the hope that it will actually identify the positive aspects of such a diverse community. Given Channel 4's current record, I don't hold out much hope of that.

So in response to the question asked in the title. Right wing propaganda is probably too strong, but times of recession always lead to an increase in extremism, and increased awareness of the far right through the media probably will lead to increases in their popularity.

The conclusion? Well Channel 4 has done some very good documentaries in the past, but it needs to be aware of the impact they can have on society, especially in challenging times, and I feel it owes it to the public to at least provide balance.

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten the joke. It's the only thing that keeps you reading the blog!!

NGAB.
That's bang out of order!

Racism in Football: Heading back to the ‘Bad Old Days’ or just another media feeding frenzy?

As someone who is both a passionate football fan, and a committed anti racist it goes without saying that I find racist incidences at football matches to be absolutely abhorrent. Nearly as nauseating however is the self righteous commentary on the subject from the worlds of media and politics. In light recent of high profile incidents (documented to such a tedious extent that I’d rather watch paint dry than discuss them in this blog) it’s suddenly in vogue for everyone to give their two penneth on the topic.

To give a couple examples; culture secretary Jeremy Hunt (a Freudian slip on Radio 4 a couple of years ago being the most apt description of this character) has announced a conference on ‘Racism in Football’ “to ensure that the sport is not dragged back to the bad old days." Quite how Mr Hunt is qualified to comment on “the bad old days” is beyond me given that he claimed the Hillsborough disaster was caused by hooliganism. Just in case the conference wasn’t far enough removed from reality it will be chaired by Mr Cameron himself.



Despite the obvious temptation to turn this blog into some good old fashioned tory bashing, I should state that I’ve found bourgeois liberal commentary obnoxious. Deborah Orr of the Guardian saw fit to write on February 17th that “Racism, quite clearly, has not been "shown the red card". Racism, quite clearly, has not been "kicked out of football."” (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/feb/17/race-is-a-myth-deborah-orr?INTCMP=SRCH)

Until I’ve seen evidence of Deborah Orr, Jeremy Hunt or David Cameron muttering obscenities in Birch Services because they’ve just wasted huge amounts of time and money travelling to watch their team implode at Burnley on a cold Tuesday night, then their views on football are no more valid than my views on nuclear physics.


Despite media hyperbole, racism in football has actually followed a fairly predictable path. It reached its peak in the 1970’s and 80’s. Unsurprisingly this coincided with the far right’s most visible presence in British society since the days of Mosely’s blackshirts. To give a rough idea of the extent to which these were the ‘bad old days,’ a number of clubs including Leeds United and Chelsea had evident links to the National Front. Racist chanting and throwing bananas at black players happened on numerous occasions. From my perspective, given my affection for Celtic, the most sickening of these events happened in 1987 when Rangers’ player Mark Walters was pelted with bananas. It is however incorrect to suggest that everyone attending a football match during this time was a far right inspired racist. It’s interesting to note that even some hooligan firms of the era included members of various races.



Moving onto the situation in recent years and again the racism in football has taken a predictable route. Just as British society in general has adopted ‘official’ anti racism, so has football. This is not to say that racism has ever been completely removed from football, just as it has never been completely removed from society. The difference however is that overtly racist language has become culturally unacceptable. Overtly racist chanting has in general disappeared from British football, to the extent that racist comments are now highly likely to be challenged by other fans at football matches.


Unsurprisingly though, reactionary and ignorant views haven’t disappeared from football, just as they continue to appear in the Daily Mail and other sections of the reactionary press. No amount of empty statements from Cameron and co will come close to challenging these views. Instead these views are most effectively countered by anti racists providing concrete alternatives. The most effective example I know of comes from a group close to my heart, Ultra Sankt Pauli, who regularly invite asylum seekers to attend games with the group. This not only aides integration of asylum seekers into German society but helps to breakdown prejudices others have about the asylum seekers themselves. In conclusion, racism in football can only genuinely be defeated by football fans themselves, obscene political posturing offers no solutions.


And the joke: I was walking through a car park the other day, and saw a sign saying ‘Thieves operating in this area.’ I thought that’s handy for the surgeons, gives them time off to steal people’s cars.